Blessed Illusion
by your new girlfriend
Summary: Naley.Neyton. Afflictions are said to tempt, to try men, putting their faith and patience to the test. Their temptation was not internal, but by a real, active, subtle being. It was not selfsought. It was submitted to as an act of obedience on their par
1. Minor Note & Standard Elements

_**Disclaimer**_

One Tree Hill and everything there in belong to The WB, Mark Schwan, The Writers, and the other respective owners that created them. I own nothing but my season one dvd set although you know if James Lafferty wanted to let me own him I would definitely be open to that. lol. I do not own song lyrics that may be inserted for effect nor do I own any quotes that may appear at the beginning or end of chapters unless I have never heard anyone else say it. Some of these quotes could come from other works I have by other account names and I'll credit them as such. That about covers everything I don't own if something else pops up I'll add it

_**Summary**_

Afflictions are said to tempt, to try men, putting their faith and patience to the test. His temptation was not internal, but by a real, active, subtle being. It was not self-sought. It was submitted to as an act of obedience on his part. So long as we are in this world exposure to temptation is inevitable, and need ever to be on our watch against them. For these enticements are shameless. Naley.

**_Author's Note: May 14, 2005_**

After thinking about this for a while and really turning everything over in my head for a while I've decided a couple things. First off I know I promised that this would be a Naley and I kind of wanted to make it one just for challenge sake but like happens sometimes the fic is really writing itself. It might not take that exact direction. Owing to the fact that I've promised over and over one thing but the story really is developing in another I want to say that nobody lose faith in their ship whether it be Haley/Nathan or Brooke/Nathan. There will be a point in this fic where I'm going to ask you, the reviewers and/or readers, to decide which path the rest of the story takes. Know that this wont happen for a bit though. Just hold tight I promise plenty of both.

Secondly after it being brought to my attention a couple times I realize that I don't really like the end of the last chapter and how it seems a little random. I didn't explain things well. So in an attempt to correct that I'm going to try to unfold the master reason behind Brooke/Nathan and the friend situation with Haley. There's a specific reason behind the way Nathan acts toward Haley and why, even after a divorce, he's with her. Brooke's a key player in this. She's not the stereotypical mistress, other woman, scarlet woman, whatever you want to call them in this fic that I can definitely assure you being my favorite I definitely wouldn't do that to her.

Lastly after reviewing it carefully I jumped into things a little soon. I'll be rewriting slightly, not enough to change the course of the storyline so don't worry about rereading if you don't want to, so as to slow things down. Chapter title's are going to change just because I've found better ones lol. That's probably the least in importance of the changes taken place.

Sorry for the inconvienence to all that are reading or reviewing this. I really do apologize for my rewrite I do this often but usually it takes a bit for my friends to point things out and then it just irritates me until I do it's my curse being fairly meticulous and a tad bit of a perfectionist. Also if you are interested for being a beta reader for this or a fic I have started but not posted, those can be found in my profile, e-mail me or let me know in a review and we'll talk. Again sorry for the hold up and inconvienence. For any further author's notes or minor little notations check back here.

Always,  
- Jesica -


	2. Meant Something To Me

**Chapter One -** Meant Something To Me

_These words are razors to my wounded heart. - William Shakespeare (Titus Andronicus Act I Scene I)_

She knew he loathed her decisions. She knew he didn't understand. But how could he? She'd never offered an explanation nor had she ever tried. Just issuances of apologies he couldn't be expected to accept. But by some twist of fate. Some reason not known by her. He'd forgiven. It'd been three years ago yet still she felt the coldness in his touch. Saw the distance in his eyes. The love that she'd once known he felt for her now a question on her mind. Was he there because he really cared? Or because he wished to see her fail?

As quickly as these thoughts entered her mind she shook them out. Of course he loved her as she loved him. She reminded herself that he was not his father. The sins of a father were not always the sins of the son. Yet still her heart ached from the distance between them. Not physically, for they shared a bed, a room, a house but she could feel him far from her in ever other way. He hadn't opened back up. She'd dropped her flowering career, moved back to Tree Hill, pushed her confusion aside, and jumped back into her old life. The life of Haley James-Scott. Boring and normal.

She sighed and looked at the clock above the fireplace. Frowning slightly she stared at the window pushing all doubt from her mind. They were happy. But even as she thought it she wondered if it was true. She told everyone they were happy, if ever she asked he'd smile that smile that made her heart melt and say yes. He'd give her that look that erased all doubt from her mind. But she couldn't help but question. He'd taken over the basketball team after Whitey's retirement, could he really be staying late at the gym every night? Did high school basketball require that much time? Her instincts said no but she convinced herself yes. That's what he told her. Why should she not believe him?

Again Haley shook her to stop the doubts edging into her mind. They may have divorced but they were together now. If it was not meant to be, she reasoned, they wouldn't have found their way back to each other. They'd still be apart. But again that voice in the back of her mind spoke. If she could do it wasn't it likely he would too? Infidelity was like an inherited gene in his family. His mother with his uncle, his father with his mother. Even she'd fallen victim to temptation. Fallen victim to the manipulator she'd once called a friend. Seeking comfort after Nathan had gone and left only to visit her sister. Had it been with Taylor? She'd sworn not but Haley wondered still. Taylor had blatantly lied before, would she do it again?

Focusing on the task at hand Haley tried not to think about Nathan's where abouts, his being late from work, his frequent guys nights and scouting trips to other towns, other states. She looked down at the last of her precious works. The last of her hand written songs. The last of the items she'd spent hours slaving over, tweaking to prefection, scrutinizing for days, and settling on only after the process was complete. With sadness in her heart, tears building behind her eyes she tore it down the middle and tossed it into the roaring fire. With that it all ended. Hours of work and preforming wasted. A budding career ended before it had barely gotten off the ground.

But it was for a good cause. She was happy again. Maybe her friends weren't talking to her just yet, and maybe things weren't quite back to normal just yet, but they would be. After a year of rebuilding her life with Nathan, convincing him it was really over. That music was her past. She was ready to move on. To be happy again.

A faint smile appeared on her lips as she looked up at the picture residing on their mantal. It was from better days. Days long past. Days that seemed but a distant memory. The party their friends had organized in celebration. The party she'd learned Deb's true form through. But she convinced herself what the elder Scott's thought wasn't true because she was happy now.

She rubbed at her eyes as to erase all signs that tears were nearby as she heard a car approaching, hoping it was him but knowing it wasn't. Casting a forelorn look at the white hot ashes that were once her beloved songs she stood from her place on the fire front rug and walked slowly down the short hallway from den to kitchen. She marvelled at how alike the house Nathan had chosen and his parents were. He had claimed to hate everything about that house yet here they were living in it. Even spending friday dinners alternating between Dan & Deb's house and theirs. Family dinners, Nathan called them. Torture was her preferred word.

Haley glanced at the dinner still set out on the table, untouched and sighed. Another dinner she'd have to spend alone. A dinner that she knew she'd not touch. Reaching into a nearby cupboard she pulled down various bowls and lids that she carried with her to the table. Once there she carefully put each item in its own container, making sure to keep it in perfect shape, snapping the lid and turning to the fridge where she carefully stacked them all together, keeping the fridge just as neat as when she'd opened it.

Closing the door quietly she retraced her steps to the living room sitting not on the rug this time but instead the couch. The thin blanket that had been neatly folded earlier was now draped over her lap not because of cold but because of habit. She leaned against the back and watched out the window. Listening, waiting, and wondering where he was. Hoping he would at least call, keep her from worrying, disprove her fears. As if someone had heard her thoughts Haley heard the phone ring and looked toward it. She didn't know whether to answer or not. Whether it would be good or not. Whether he was okay or not. In the end she reached for it and pressed talk.

"Hello?" She answered heart seeming to skip a beat as she waited for the person on the other line to talk. Though she was sure it was but a minute it felt like an eternity. An eternity that made her more anxious than she remembered ever being.

"Hey baby." She heard his voice and let out a breath she'd been unknowingly holding. By voice he sounded like he was okay, unhurt, but there was something there. Something she heard in his voice. But she couldn't place specifically what it was maybe tired, exhausted, out of breath? She wasn't sure.

"Where are you?" She asked him in a casually curious voice. It didn't take much to make her worry, this she knew he knew. And the answer didn't have to spectacularly indepth to make her worry disappear she knew he knew this also. But the long pause that came before his answer scared her.

"Just at the...office." His words were slow coming out. Making her wonder if it was a lie. But she again shook the thought from her head. He was probably just busy, dedicated like his predecessor had been. Making ever play detailed and thoroughly calculating everything to keep the winning season. They were happy, she reminded herself. But in their relationship such doubts weren't easily dismissed. There had been crossed lines, broken loyalties, tangled alliances, and blatant lies before. But she was sure neither would do it anymore. They'd learned from their mistakes. Mended the broken hearts, sealed the wounds. And they were happy.

"Oh." Haley said simply not being able to help the disappointment in her voice. She immediately blamed herself for being selfish. It was an insecurity brought on by Nathan's endless tirade when they'd first set their relationship to mending. Brought on by his verbal beatings that had been Dan and hate encouraged. "When are you coming home?" She asked forcing any lasting disappointment from her voice.

"I might go out with the guys later." Nathan said. She frowned on her end of the line. Haley knew what that meant. He wouldn't be home until early in the morning if at all. "Tim's first night back since school and we're all going to celebrate. It's like this bonding thing." He explained further though she hadn't asked. Haley wondered why. He'd never explained any further before.

"So then..." Haley trailed off frusterated and unsure what to do anymore. It was hard sometimes. They used to be so at ease around one another and to her it seemed like they lead separate lives now. Like they were strangers merely co-existing in a house. Like they didn't even know each other. Keeping secrets and skeletons by the masses in closets never to be opened or touched by the other. And she hated it. But she never said anything because she knew they were happy.

"Did you want to come?" At the question Haley snapped her full attention to the conversation. She was tempted to say yes. Longed to see old school friends. But she knew she couldn't. Last time she saw Tim had been bad enough. The butt of their jokes and subtle remarks had nearly sent her to tears. But she didn't blame them. Not even Peyton, who'd sent her the torn out address book page long ago. She'd cried over it but realized they felt abandoned. Not even Jake talked to her. Simple, kind Jake with all his complex thoughts, the one who should have understood and he didn't utter a word more than a quick hello or goodbye.

"No I think I'll just...I'm really tired." She lied for lack of a better excuse.

"Okay. Well see you when I get home?" She thought there was a new emotion in his voice. Was it relief? Was he relieved she'd denied him? Haley was almost certain that was what it was but she pushed it to the back of her mind. Again telling herself she was happy with him and he with her.

Haley nodded before realizing he couldn't see her on the phone. "See you then. Bye." She said running a hand through her hair. Saddened by their short and seemingly forced conversations. The tightness in his voice. "I love you." She added awaiting a response before hanging up.

"Yeah. Same here." Nathan said before he hung up. It felt like someone had stabbed her through the heart. He'd never denied her those three simple words. He'd never hung up first. What did this mean? Haley wasn't sure. She reasoned that he was with the guys and didn't want to see un-manly. Or maybe he was with students and didn't want to be given a hard time about it. Because she knew that they were happy. But if they truly were, why did it feel like she was convincing herself everytime she said it?


	3. On A Night Like This

..·°-:¦:- Special Thanks To: Nathan'sRaven and Unfolddreams -:¦:-°·..

Chapter Two - On A Night Like This

Adam was but human -- this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it only because it was forbidden. **- Mark Twain a psuedonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens **

Blue eyes scanned the carefully drafted plans one last time before he filed them in his desk drawer and closed it with a sigh. Three years ago he wouldn't have doubted whether the team could pull it off. But three years ago he'd been playing and the team was good. He wasn't so sure of this team. It was trying, there were attitudes, nobody was a team player, and he knew what Whitey must have felt like. He was on the brink of throwing in the towel and getting out while he could. But he wouldn't. If not for the job he'd have no basketball in his life short of ESPN.

It was hard sometimes having to watch his brother's successes on the court. But he was slowly getting over the jealousy and envy that had caused a rift between the two. Nathan knew it was only because of this they didn't talk anymore but the bitterness he'd been unable to overcome. The last time they'd talked he'd gotten compared to his father, a comparison he hadn't taken so well and the pride the brothers shared wouldn't let them easily forget. In fact, Lucas was hardly in Tree Hill anymore. Home just wasn't where he wanted to be after the trying years they'd all had and the fall outs that came.

But as he got into his car Nathan couldn't help but think about the conversation he'd just had with his once wife. She was trying, he knew but things weren't the same. Things would never be the same between them. His lips twisted into a sinister smirk as he thought of how easy it had been, how natural it was, to lie as he'd done. Briefly he wondered if she even knew that Tim was still away at school. The only "guys" left in town were Jake and Skills, both too caught up with their own lives to spare a moment for anyone else.

The drive was not so long as he remembered. He sat for a moment and looked at the familiar red door, it stood out against the color of the house illuminated by a single porch light. The light was never out, this he knew. It burned twenty four hours. Nobody else was sure why or had paid it much attention but Nathan knew. He'd bothered to care. The driveway, as he'd suspected, was void of any cars but his own. Karen wouldn't be home tonight, she almost never was. Not since Keith had left. Nathan allowed a small smirk at the irony. His mother should be the wreck but in the end it'd turned out to be Karen who'd chosen that path. He wasn't happy about her self destruction. She'd been there for him with Haley but he was amused by this finding.

Nathan didn't bother to knock on the door, he didn't need to be approved for entry and he knew the door would be unlocked. It always was. Just in case.

The scene in front of him was familiar but unlike other nights. She expected him then but tonight had been unarranged and unplanned. A spur of the moment decision on his part. Sometimes it was just to hard to go home. He didn't want to, there were too many memories, too many complexities. With her it was simply. They expected nothing of each other and its exactly what they got. Empty encounters. They were merely two lonely souls seeking temporary comfort, alleviation from the lives they'd never asked for but had to live.

Settling in the chair by her mirror he watched her sleep awaiting her realization that he was there. He knew it'd come without him so much as lifting a finger, telling her in anyway. The room was dark except for the soft glow of the porch light that fell but a few inches across the floor through the window. But he knew anyway, by the way she stirred, the slight movement of her body that she knew he was there.

"Nathan?" He heard her ask, voice thick with sleep. "What are you doing here?"

He merely shrugged and watched her turn on the bedside lamp, "Honestly? Home is the last place I want to be tonight." He said looking at her. "Tonight is three years exactly. I can't be there."

He saw her nod slightly and bite her bottom lip. No doubt trying to figure out what to do next. She absentmindedly rubbed her arm and he sighed. "Brooke," He said. "We don't have to do anything. I just need a place to crash tonight." He told her. Seeing her just look at him he tried again, "Look I'll sleep on the floor if you want."

"Don't be stupid." He watched her scoot over slightly and pat the spot next to her on the bed. Nathan hesitated only to remove his shoes before taking up the spot she'd offered. "Now," She said turning to him with her signature seductive look. One he knew countless guys were familiar with. "What can we do to cheer you up?"

Nathan simply smirked in response and looked down at her fingers slowly creeping up his chest before raising an eyebrow at her and meeting her gaze. "I can think of something." He told her running a hand through her long dark hair and tracing her jawline with his thumb.

As he did so Brooke placed a knee on either side of his waist, straddling his hips and wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. Any response she'd intended to give, any seductive remark she might have had was cut off as he unexpectadly thrust his hands into her thick chocolate hair and brought his mouth to hers, an all out fiery assault on her lips. His act was met with equal fervor, uncoerced and readily, something he remebered only happening with her. He deepened the kiss, pulling at her lips, nipping at her tongue, and delving his own tongue deep into her mouth.

Nathan felt her fingers curl in his shirt as he moved his hands to her outer thigh. She tugged him closer by his shirt, her every touch seeming to set nerve endings aflame in its wake. A sensation he'd not felt since their last encounter. He was surprsied, almost disappointed when she tugged her mouth from his. But shock was replaced by a deep wanting and desire when she trailed a hot, wet path to his ear. Flicking her tongue against his ear lobe, and nipping at it gently, sending a shiver skittering along the surface of his skin that left every tniy hair on his body standing on end.

In one fluid motion, tired of the games he knew could last all night, he grasped her hips and flipped her onto her back, his mouth on hers again. His hand on her bare thigh before moving upward toward the hem of her shirt. The shrill ring of the bedside phone tore through the thick film of desire and temptation weaving them together. He didn't bother to muffle the growl of frusteration that came from his lips as he felt her pull away.

"Ignoir it." He told her, irritation evident in his voice.

But it was too little too late. He heard the talk button beep and rolled off of her looking up at the cieling not believing his luck. He felt her eyes on him and turned to look at her raising a confused eyebrow at the amusement he saw in her dark eyes.

"No other best friend." He heard her say casually twirling a lock of hair around between her fingers. "I haven't seen Nathan tonight. Maybe he's at work?"

He watched her carefully as she paused to presumably listen to what was being said on the other line. He knew it was Haley from the tone in her voice and the title with which she'd answered. After Peyton's moving Haley and Brooke had seemed to bond, he'd remembered. But not so much as they had. He and her had been there for each other through the loss of the center pieces of their life. The very reason they had existed. Broken engagements and failed mariages had deeply bonded the two. He knew that even if everyone else abonded him she'd always be on his side.

He snapped back to reality when he heard Brooke sigh. Nathan thought he must have looked like he'd been caught as her look clrearly told him to relax. Which, with a deep inhale, he did.

"Well maybe he's out with Tim then. I hear he's back in town." He heard her offer another suggestion. "Yes if I see him by chance walking down the street in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping I'll call Haley." She paused again and he couldn't help but be amused by the slight eyeroll. "Because Haley it's midnight and you woke me up. Who wouldn't be frusterated? Just go to bed okay? Goodnight."

For a moment they just looked at each in slience. The mood and moment passed he grabbed a pillow and blanket heading to the floor. He didn't want to chance the bed. Even through what they were doing he couldn't help but wonder if there was more to it. If their encounters were truly empty as both claimed why was it he felt disappointment at their instant separation? Momentarily both lay awake staring at the cieling and thinking the same thing. Was there more to their feelings than they thought?


End file.
